Answering your calling- II

CELEBRATING MENTAL HEALTH DAY

Remember your dreams and fight for them. You must know what you want from life. There is just one thing that makes your dream become impossible: the fear of failure.- Paulo Coelho

It was still dark when I went for a walk with the secret wish to find an apple tree, too early to wake up Gill, so I went alone. I took a turn around the old beautiful house, took my shoes off and went towards the fields for a while leaving the tree line behind. As I was walking further into the green fields, I could feel the grass velveting my feet and the morning dew was sparkling on the leaves like tiny diamonds in the pink morning light.

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Came back after a while looking for my apple tree, and here he was, right under my window, which explained the scented air in my room, but was too dark to see it last night. I stood at a distance at first, looking at this beautiful, almost dignified living statue - I couldn’t help but remember the impact and mythological significance of the apple fruit in many cultures , from Greeks to European Christian tradition, to America where was brought by European colonists after have been grown for thousands of years in Asia and Europe. History aside, I had this moment, right now, to get to know this apple tree and enjoy its sweetness. Around the tree it was a shield of apples, hundreds and hundreds of them, deliciously waiting on the grass, waiting to be picked…

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While looking at this perfect picture, not being sure if I am aloud to pick the apples, few birds start singing just above me, encouraging me to take the first fruit from the grass and then collect a dozen for my friends who were slowly coming down to celebrate what was to be a magnificent day…Few of my friends were in the lobby and I offered them the fruits, after the first bite, they asked me at the same time: Where is the tree? I took them to the tree and together we brought a good supply of delicious fruits for our stay.

The first day started with all of us sitting in the morning light relaxed and happy thinking of our dreams and imagining a new reality, a reality that we create, by choice.

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I wish I knew to listen to Gill’s voice sooner, since March when I had a major meltdown when my dog Tara died. ...which is one of the reasons that I began meditating. Listening to Gill’s voice I felt calmer and kinder to not just other people, but to myself.

We were sitting on our chairs and it felt as sailing on a sea of calmness and love, and I sensed a scented light entering my heart, like back in my childhood, when my grandmother was letting me watch her while making my favorite food: apple pie.

Lucky enough, I had a blissful childhood, with outdoor adventures and no mobile phones and somehow, I was given this weekend to go back and remember those days, when it was so much love and kindness around, that was plenty to see fear in the eye and take the next step towards your dream, without thinking of what others would say when you fail.

As a child I learned to celebrate everything, each day, apples, friends, simple things, like being round the table and reading a book with my neighbours, waiting with bated breath to see what they will say next about their day and being grateful for waking up early and running barefoot in the morning dew…

Today is a sad day, we celebrate ‘Mental Health day’

What happened to us? Why is the screen of your mobile phone more important than the person sitting next to you?

Why don’t you pay attention to yourself? Who could be more interesting than the one person sitting INSIDE you?

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Why do you spend more time on social media than listening to your own story, the story you tell yourself when nobody is listening…

I remember going to an after concert diner and the couple sitting next to me, spending all the time ‘together’ without a single word, watching their mobile phones instead…

The whole weekend at Margaret’s retreat with my friend Gill and all the new, beautiful stardust Souls we met, was a huge opening into hope and kindness, that I haven’t felt for many years and it stayed with me ever since.

Being listened to, and knowing somebody is truly there with you, without looking down on you or judging you, or looking at their mobile phone, was meaningful and and made a huge impact on me. Tears of joy are falling as I write.

To be continued- PART III

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Dr Marina Nani